I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
