Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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