she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
