Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
