great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize