I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
