At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
