jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
