i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
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Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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