Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Boobs are out for the taking
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
