oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
