Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up under a house in Key West
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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