If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
FUCK WHALES
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
