12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize