I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
