I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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