When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
