It's just like the Real World with babies
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
BRING THE BAGELS
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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