But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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