Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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