i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He shit in the fireplace
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
