That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
