Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
