Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
