too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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