Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
