R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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