You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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