Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
