She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize