just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
