Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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