Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish ðŸ€
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