I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
