and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
