I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
