i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
