Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
