in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
