I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize