i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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