Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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