Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
