called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize