Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
