You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize