So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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