Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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