"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
