The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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