new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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