Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
