put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop coming to work sober
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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