He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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