I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
