That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
