Do you still have your period?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My vagina is officially offended.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.ā€¯ \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
